It's the most wonderful time of the year

Sure Christmas is great for spending time with family, celebrating the birth of tiny baby Jesus, gifts, and awesome food.

But, I think my favorite time of year is tax season. We get a small portion of the money we gave Uncle Sam back in a lump sum. I'm not great with saving (but thanks to my budget I'm doing much better!) so this check is AWESOME! This year I have some big plans for my tax check.



Avery and I are going back to Hawaii. This isn't a pleasure trip, although I'm positive we will clock some hours on the beach. We are going to visit my sister, brother-in-law, and brand new niece. This might be the last time I visit them while they still live in Hawaii so I will be sure to soak it in!



I'm adding this guy to my camera bag. I love my lightscoop and it has really helped me with photos but I want to make an upgrade in the hopes that one day I can really take this hobby a bit more seriously.(I also have my eye on an 85mm lens, but my budget doesn't allow for all the things I want!)



I'm having new carpet installed in my living room and hall. Yep, I tore up the old carpet late last spring and I STILL haven't redone the hardwood. But, you know what? I think I prefer the carpet anyway. My house seems to have been colder this winter, it's difficult to keep clean, and Avery falls down all.the.time. when she has socks on. It's almost comical. She gets so frustrated when she tears out of her room and through the hall into the living room and wipes out on her butt.



I'm looking at new laptops. Only, I have no clue what I'm looking for. I do think I'm going to stick with a PC. I know I need a card reader, a webcam, and I mostly edit photos and surf the interwebz with my computer. In all honesty, my computer is still perfectly functional (at almost 4 years old) so I might just put that money in a savings account.

Whatever is left (if anything) will be going in a savings account in case of emergency.

What do you have planned with your taxes?

Permanent markers

This is what happens when a toddler sneaks out of her room at 10:30pm.

Online dating, racism, and exposing my underthings

I ventured back into the world of online dating. I know…lame, right?

But here’s the thing. It gets kind of boring around here after 8pm. There are only SO many loads of laundry to do or shows to watch. And since the kid is asleep and it’s FREAKING FREEZING outside I’m confined to the house.

I joined a free site, because I’m not paying for that shit, it doesn’t even work! I spent a large majority of the time pointing and laughing and most of the people on my screen. Some of the messages I received I couldn’t even read due to extremely poor grammar (worse than mine!) and I’m convinced half of them weren’t even English. The funniest? Those that left their number so we could meet and “hook up”. Is that what people do nowadays? Icky.

I have a picture on the site of myself (duh) with my obviously biracial kid. I thought I might get a few comments about it and OH BOY did I ever!

One strapping young fellow (::eyeroll::) messaged me. At first I was impressed because it was longer than a few words and it seemed there were OMG PARAGRAPHS! But then I started reading.

I have to paraphrase because it has since been deleted, but it went along the lines of I should be ashamed of myself for breeding outside of my species and no self respecting white man will ever touch me because I am tainted. My child shouldn’t exist. Why do dumb bitches think it’s ok to breed with animals?

I wasn’t going to respond. But, let’s be honest, most of you know me by now and know that I CANNOT keep my mouth shut sometimes. I said your parents must be so proud to know that they raised such an ignorant racist. My daughter’s father is of a different RACE not a different species….Einstein. He bleeds red just like you. There is nothing wrong with me or my vagina. I had a child with a man, that yes has many MANY faults, but is a lot more open minded than you appear to be. My daughter SHOULD exist and it is unfortunate that we live in a world where people like you are going to try to make her feel inferior for something that makes her UNIQUE and BEAUTIFUL.

He emailed back spouting more ignorant shit but I didn’t read it.

What a piece of work right?

I’m not gonna lie I was fuming about it for a little bit. But, people like that DO exist and they WILL always try to say something to get to me. But, there are others that make me feel uncomfortable too.

Those that just stare.

I was on a date last weekend. (Eeeeek! And no, I’m not sharing…yet.) And a woman at the next table kept peeking at us. It wouldn’t have been so noticeable if her back wasn’t to us so she had to TURN AROUND every time. At first I thought, I know I look cute and he’s a total babe….stare away. And stare she did. And KEPT STARING! How awkward. What bothers me the most about these people is that I’m a fairly open person and I’m not easily offended. WHY are you staring? Do you have a question? A comment? Just say it! You’ll feel better getting it off your chest and I’ll feel better knowing it’s not because I have a booger hanging out of my nose or my dress tucked in my underwear.

Someone would TELL me if I had my dress tucked in my underwear right? RIGHT?!?!

I've been sitting here for 20 min with my heated blanket set on high wrapped around my frozen toes. I am frozen down to my core. My nose is cold, my fingers are chilly, my BACK is cold. I can feel the warmth of the blanket but it's not un-thawing me.

I'm CRAVING summer right now. Hot summer nights with the windows open. A cold beer on the front porch watching the fireflies. Suntanned skin and barefoot toes. Driving with the windows down.

YAY for new babies!

My newest niece is here!



Keianna Isabelle was born yesterday at 2:38pm Hawaii time. She was 8lbs 1.5oz and 21in long. There was a bit of confusion about her weight for a time...we thought she was a 9 pounder!

Congrats to Brandon and Tiff! I can't WAIT to get out to Hawaii at the beginning of March to squeeze her!

"I have a dream"

".....I say to you today, my friends, that in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal."



I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at a table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a desert state, sweltering with the heat of injustice and oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.




I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day the state of Alabama, whose governor's lips are presently dripping with the words of interposition and nullification, will be transformed into a situation where little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls and walk together as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today.




I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together.

This is our hope. This is the faith with which I return to the South. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.



This will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with a new meaning, "My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim's pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring."

And if America is to be a great nation this must become true. So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania!

Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado!

Let freedom ring from the curvaceous peaks of California!

But not only that; let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia!

Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee!

Let freedom ring from every hill and every molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let freedom ring.




When we let freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!""

-MLK Jr. at the March on Washington, August 28, 1963

The winner is.....

Commenter #3!!



Yay Tiffani!

Contact me within 48 hours and I will get you in touch with Becca at Jumping Jax Designs!

Didn't win? Becca is celebrating the new baby in her belluh through the weekend with 15% off ANYTHING in the store! Just use the code GUMMYBEAR.

Winner winner chicken dinner!!

I have the winner to the Jumping Jax Design giveaway!

Are y'all excited? Cuz I am!

I'm so sorry this post was a few hours late. I was......busy. :)

I'll post the winners name in the morning!!!!!

Is it you?

Giveaway...extended!

I'm exhausted y'all....I'm too tired to figure out a winner. Also? We still have relatively low number of entries. So, I'm extending the deadline to TOMORROW night.

I will pick a winner tomorrow at 9pm EST using Random.org.

So get those entries in!

It's stuck

I feel like I have a post. But it's stuck. In my fingertips. I rest my fingers on the keys and nothing comes out.

I'm working on a guest post for another blog. And it's stuck too.

::le sigh::

Y'all don't forget to enter my fabulous giveaway! I'm accepting entries until Friday night!

Today is my sisters due date. My niece is still happily baking away. She's stubborn....like her mama. But, this means that she will be younger when I go visit her in March so KEEP COOKING KEIANNA!! Stay in there until they MAKE you come out! (I'm sure I'm jinxing myself with this so, Tiff, you're welcome.)

A giveaway!!!!

First ever! Woot!

My blog design? It rocks. My friend Becca over at Jumping Jax Designs made it for me. She gets me. She knows I’m not much of a girly, pink and purple, puppies and rainbows type of girl. She knows how I adore polka dots. She also gets my crazy. I lubs her. And? She’s hella talented. She’s a master announcement, invitation, card maker as well as a genius in the logo making department. Have design needs? She will meet every last one of them. But hurry y’all! Her blog design wait list is filling up! Told you she’s uber talented.

Becca has graciously offered to give away a $50 shop credit to ANYTHING in her store to one of my lovely readers! This is incredibly exciting news, no?

To enter:

Go over to Jumping Jax Designs website and look around. Then come back here and leave a comment telling me what YOU would do with the $50 shop credit. Custom graduation announcements? A new blog design? Birthday party invites? A wedding logo perhaps? Leave your email address in your comment so I can contact you if you are the winner.

For extra entries: (leave a separate comment for each)

Become a public follower of my blog.

Go “like” Jumping Jax designs on Facebook.


Entries will be accepted until Friday, January 14th at 9pm EST. I will select a winner using Random.org.

Random musings

I can't even concentrate enough right now to form a coherent though. And tweetdeck IS NOT HELPING. You hear me TWEETDECK? I'm about to turn your ass off TWEETDECK. Every time I get a tweet and that box pops up I just have to see what it is. And all the football players I follow are tweeting about playoffs and a few people are tweeting about wine which is making me want wine and....wait, what?

I don't know where I was going with that.

I made a budget today. Like a real, adult, monies accounted for budget. Look at me!! I'm a grown up! Bought time right? Meh, I've done alright thus far, but I want to do a lot better. So...TADA...budget.

Day 2 of potty training (potty learning? I don't give an eff what you call it, my kid is putting her waste in a potty.) is going swimmingly. We had, I believe, 5 accidents yesterday and today we had 4 total. Yesterday she was only in panties about 7 hours. Today she went from 8am to 8pm with an hour and a half in a diaper for her nap. We didn't even plan on starting this but I showed her the Dora panties I had shoved in the back of her drawer from a previous failed potty training attempt and she LOVED them. And OH.EM.GEEE. we CAN'T pee on "Deedee". When she pees she gets up and runs around bare assed singing "peepee in the potty, peepee in the potty". And we dump her potty in the big potty and she flushes and waves and says "bye peepee". Hilarious right? My kid is jazzed about bodily functions. Whatever floats your boat kid, lets just be consistent, mmmkay?

Also? I made a list of things to pack for Hawaii. I'm fairly certain it's a complete list. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW MOTHER?!?! But I refuse to start buying travel toiletries or bring the suitcase down from upstairs. So, hmph.

I'll pay someone, in cookies (cash bribes aren't in the budget) to put away my laundry. I have a MASSIVE pile on my desk. You know, that space I'm supposed to be getting my work done? Yeah, that has moved to the living room and the laundry pile has continued to grow. I haven't unpacked the bedroom yet either from the pseudo-move. My bedroom is always the most neglected area of the house.

::sigh::

I live in a cape cod built in the 1950s. When I bought this house my dad put a door on the stairs going up to the big room upstairs. We shut off the heat up there and mainly use it for storage. The main floor has 2 bedrooms and a bathroom and is plenty big enough for just a toddler and myself.

A couple weeks ago I took some extra flooring from when we redid the kitchen that I found in the basement and carried it upstairs to the big empty room. I snapped it together and pushed it against the wall. I made the babe sit on it (that room has great lighting).

Remember these pics?



Yeah, it was about 50 degrees in that room when these were taken.

The first time I attempted these pics the sun was setting and I didn’t have my lightscoop yet. They were crap. I also had her in a different outfit. In the first attempt she was holding (and drooling all over) a candy cane. It was broken into a bunch of pieces when I had to take it from her when we went downstairs. The day of the second shoot I took the bag of broken candy cane pieces and we headed back upstairs. I gave her a piece and she would sit still and eat it. Click, click, click. She’d move, give her another piece, and click, click, click. It’s a good system we’ve got going. When we were done I just left the bag upstairs, figuring I could use them again when I take more pictures.

A few days ago there was an earthquake in the Midwest. Wait….what?!?! No this is still the same story, just hush and listen.

We were in bed and I was still mostly unconscious. I heard something upstairs. At this point I must have gone totally unconscious because sleep > a collapsed roof. Obviously. Sometime later, I don’t really know how long, I heard someone (about 3 feet tall) playing with the door to the upstairs, which is right outside my room. I told Avery to come get in bed with me and we snuggled while I checked emails, facebook, and twitter from my phone. It was then that I learned about the earthquake. Who says you can’t learn anything from social media?

Let’s fast forward to yesterday morning. I heard something RUN across the floor upstairs early this morning. I remember thinking, in my semi-conscious state, “huh maybe the roof DID collapse and there is an animal up there”. I haven’t been up there since I took those pics. But surely I would have noticed before now right? The neighbors would have told me? My house would have gotten colder? My very next thought was “I’M not going up there to find a live animal, what if it has rabies?” So I made a mental note to call my dad later. Obviously.

Click.

“Avery, where are you”?

“I here mom” and she stumbles into my room rubbing her eyes. Well if she was in bed then who just shut the door to the stairs? THAT RABID ANIMAL HAS OPPOSABLE THUMBS! I was 0.01 seconds from a major freak out when I caught a whiff of something.

“Avery, why do you smell minty”?

“MOM! Justin Bieber acky.” This is her go to response when she knows she did something wrong. Mainly because she knows it cracks me up. And thank you to my sister for teaching her that.

“AVERY….”

“Justin Bieber, mom, is acky” ::awkward laugh::

You guys? My kid WENT UPSTAIRS and ate the candy cane. Let’s not even touch the subject of how many ways she could have gotten hurt (because I KNOW), but HOW did she even REMEMBER there was a candy cane up there? And earlier when there was the earthquake? I can only assume she was up there then too and doing something that sounded like the roof caving in.

OH.EM.GEE

I don’t even know a solution to this problem. I sleep with my door open and her door cracked. They are right across the hall from each other. I usually only have a small crack on her door (so I can hear the door creak when she opens it) but I’ve been keeping it about halfway because her room gets too cold when the door is shut. A few nights I’ve put up the baby gate in the hall so she can’t have free roam to the rest of the house (mainly because she goes straight for the electronics and broke the remote to the DVD player the other day). In theory, I thought this worked. She could only go to her room or my room when she woke up. Baby gate on one side and door on the other. Little did I know Houdini figured out door handles, well THAT door handle at least.

I guess I could put up the baby gate IN her door way? Then when she wakes up she will be PISSED because she can’t get out of her room. But, I’ll know she’s awake, right? Or, she will climb the gate and REALLY have free reign of the house. She’s not normally much of a climber, I also didn’t think she would go upstairs.

I’m thinking duct tape might be the perfect answer for this problem.

Slacker

I’m a planner.

Duh.

I know I should start thinking about this trip to see my sister at the beginning of March. But, meh. We’ve done it before. Only this time I’m making the 12 hour flight ALONE with the toddler BOTH WAYS. We flew home alone last summer but it was night and she, thankfully, slept most of it. And this time I HAVE to buy her a seat so I don’t have to worry about hoping for an empty one next to us. Which means? More room, woot! And I know she’s a nerd so a backpack full of books, stickers, and crayons will keep her busy for HOURS.

And if she starts screaming I’ll be all OMG YOU’RE EMBARRASING ME!! And we will see who does it louder. Because I paid for a quiet flight too, I don’t know who this little person is next to me.

I swear, I’ll start a list soon. I’m really only worried about the carry-ons. We didn’t wear most of our clothes we packed last time. That’s gross right? But when I wear a dress to dinner I think it’s perfectly acceptable to hang it back up and wear it two days later. Oh, eff off, I spray it with perfume before I wear it again. The babe spent most of the time in sundresses which are super simple to pack and change diapers around.

Speaking of: would someone mind showing me some cute sundresses for myself? The little human will look cute in a brown paper sack, I’m not worried about her. I? Need something to cover the huge knockers. But, not too covered, I’m not Pentecostal. I’m not generally a huge fan of sundresses but they were uber convenient on our trip and even in the airport. I wore a floor length maxi dress on the flight home and I was super comfortable the whole flight, minus the sleeping toddler I held all night. My only real requirement is that I HAVE to be able to wear a bra with it. HAVE TO!

But, I’ll get my arse in gear. Soon-ish.

I assume it's like herpes

Guys? I'm about to bore you with ANOTHER post about the donor of the sperm. You know, the one that helped me MAKE my kid. Yeah....sorry. :(

I got an email from him today. "I trust you had a fantastic New Year......(removed because it's boring and blah blah blah)......Can you have Avery call me? You NO I love her" (I capitalized the NO because, really? He has a journalism degree? My finesse with the English language is seriously lacking, but I don't have a degree that is dependent on my skills in written word.)

whiskey.tango.foxtrot?!?!?!?!?!eleven!1!!!1!!!!

Maybe he's a drug abuser. That seems logical right? Maybe there isn't enough oxygen in the world to supply that big head of his and he is actually a bit handicapped. (Handicapable? Are we really being PC here?)

Maybe it will always be like a case of herpes. He's always gonna be just festering below the surface. And once every few months or years he will get a wild hair up his ass to call or email me. I wish there was a cream or pill to use to keep him at bay.

He's all unsuspecting and sweet on the surface, you don't even have a clue. Then BAM infected for life.

I just laughed and closed the email.


(I have no real transition here people, just keep up. This is how my brain works.)

We've had a pajama day today. Avery is sitting in her Dora house as I type this reading a Dora book. And I would totally join the party, except I'm not allowed. It's Avery's house.



(She's that shadow in the tunnel. She was crawling back and forth and back and forth. Go ahead, get gooooood and tired kid.)

When I asked if I could come in she said "No mommy! Out!"



But before that we had a diva party. Avery style.



(Yes, she always wears her sunglasses upside down. It's her norm.)

Pardon me, the princess just came out of her house and requested chilled milk.

My mistake she really wanted filtered water.

That time I had nothing to say

I've been sitting here tap tap tapping the keyboard for 20 minutes.

I.have.nothing.to.say.

Admittedly, I have been absorbed in my new DVD. Have I mentioned today how much I adore Glee? AH-DORE. And Puck? With that guitar? RAWR! Love, love, love. I don't know that it's ever been a secret that I have a weakness for a man that can play guitar. It has? Oh, well, now you know.

Guys? Can I just say? The days since I haven't heard from Aves' dad have been GREAT. I know, horrible right?! But I'm not worrying about arguments or phone calls or being a bad person because I won't meet halfway. It's been lovely. Avery did ask today to call him. I just told her daddy was sleeping (it was 7 this morning, our time) and she didn't ask again. And I haven't heard a single peep from him. Which I AM happy about, but confused as to how someone can just walk away so easily. Further proof of his intentions?

Tomorrow was supposed to be the day I started my new job in Phoenix. Things don't work out for a reason, I get that. I'm actually okay with how things are right now. My nose has been numb for a good solid month, but we're managing.

Dudes? I give up, I'm going to watch Glee.

::smoochies::

Happy New Year!

2011. Woah.

The year I'll have 2 new nieces. A return visit to Hawaii to see my sister and new niece. And lots of changes on the horizon.

I decided that before this new year began I was going to get rid of people in my life that weren't good. Toxic viruses whose only goal is to make my life chaotic and stressful. And that is exactly what I did.

I asked "Ben" to stop contacting us.

I know, I know. What in the hell is this crazy lady doing? We went from him back in the picture, to talks of a reconciliation, to arguing, to asking him to eff off in just a matter of months. But, those months? Those were the most drama filled, stressful months I've experienced in awhile.

After the charade was up and his true colors started to show his calls became even less frequent to Avery. She got to the point that she didn't ask to speak to him for a number of days.

And then he didn't call her on Christmas.

OH HELL NO. Because you didn't have CELL PHONE RECEPTION?!?! IN CHICAGO?!?!?! Give me an effing break.

I emailed him and explained my reasoning for wanting him to leave us alone and asked that he not call or text us anymore. Avery now knows his real name (even though he gave me the wrong spelling) and she can look him up when she's older if she so wishes. His reply? "Thanks". I'm not kidding you, that's it. And we haven't heard a peep from him since.

It feels like a weight has been lifted. I don't feel like I'm constantly ready to pounce to defend myself or my daughter. I'm not told everyday what a horrible person I am, how big of a failure as a parent I am. It's been........a relief. I can BREATHE again. That gut feeling the he was bad news? It's gone too.

I think 2011 might just be the best year yet!