It's a barrel of laughs around here today

(Sorry another post with no pics...I suck.)

This morning I told Avery that her Aunt is flying in from Hawaii tomorrow for a visit. She was pretty excited. I told her that her Aunt has a baby in her belly. She stopped and lifted up her shirt and pointed at her belly. I said "yes, she has a baby in her belly and she's going to come see us". Still looking a little puzzled she said "She ate it"? I started laughing and said "yes, honey, she ate it". I am NOT having THAT talk with my 22 month old.

It's not uncommon for Avery to start bugging me for lunch a few minutes after breakfast is cleaned up. Today, after her morning snack, she started right away. "Mom, eats. Mom, eats." When I finally told her that I was going to make lunch she walked/ran into the kitchen with her eyes closed (another favorite new trick) and PLOWED into the refrigerator at full speed. She opened her eyes and looked stunned. And.I.lost.it. I was doubled over laughing. She said "mommy not funny" and I couldn't help but start laughing all over again.

Yesterday when I was cleaning the wood floors I pledged them with the dust mop when I was finished. We had fun last night slipping and sliding around in our socks a la Tom Cruise in Risky Business. Today, she doesn't think it's nearly as hilarious since she keeps falling down when she tries to run on the floor.

There is never a boring moment around here. She keeps me in stitches daily.

A toddler lives in my house.

I attacked my living room and kitchen today. I'm talking moving furniture and scrubbing ALL the wood floors. I dusted all the wood surfaces in the living room and looked around.

A toddler lives in my house.

A temper tantrum throwing, milk slinging toddler lives under my roof.

Under the entertainment center was a book and a small toy that I'm sure were flung under there in a fit of fury. All my coasters were under the couch. Milk splatters were on the entertainment center, and the side tables, and the wood floors. Is my child the only one that things throwing a sippy cup of milk is funny. And is it IMPOSSIBLE to make a leak proof cup that IS ACTUALLY LEAKPROOF? Filling her mouth with milk and letting it dribble out is her newest, time out worthy, trick.

It's not unheard of to find a questionable sticky substance on a drawer handle, the window, the wall, or in my freaking hair. Where does she even FIND all this crap to get into?

Her other recently acquired talent. Farting. My beautiful little GIRL thinks farting is HILARIOUS. She tries to push one out and when she is successful she cracks up. Even if she doesn't, it's still hilarious. She says "Mommy. (insert grunting here) Farted." and runs away laughing. How gross.

A stinky, sticky, milky throwing toddler lives with me.

Clingy whiney toddler

Holy crazy whiney toddler. Nothing can make her feel better and nothing I do is right.

Welcome to my day yesterday.

I swear to Dove chocolate I was thisclose to losing it.

"MOOOOMMMMMY MMMMIIIILLLLKKKK"

::hands holy terror cup of milk::

Terror throws milk on floor and screams "NOOOOOO AGUAAAAAA" (Spanglish...FTW)

::gives cup of agua::

Terror rolls her eyes and says "mom. milk"

AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH are you FREAKING kidding me?

This continued all day with Dora vs. Spongebob. Fruit snacks vs. string cheese. Purple jammies vs. flowered. I'm all for independence and letting her make her own decisions but enough is enough y'all.

You WILL eat the string cheese in your purple jammies while watching spongebob AND YOU WILL LIKE IT.

On a similar note, I have to get the child out of my bed. She's gotten into the habit of waking in the middle of the night and getting into bed with me. I wouldn't even mind that much if it didn't mean waking up at 0600. Which then leads to me fighing with her to go back to sleep until I get frustrated and put her back in her bedroom and let her scream until she falls back asleep. 0600 toddler temper tantrums are aces.

Listen kid, I'll buy you a new car when you turn 16 if you lighten up a little bit. Mini pony? Lifetime supply of string cheese? YOUR OWN CELL PHONE?!?!?!

It's days like yesterday that I can't help but get resentful. Days like yesterday when it's ABSOLUTELY EXHAUSTING raising a child alone. Especially a spirited, independent, stubborn child like mine.

Nothing a glass of wine can't cure....oh wait, then I went to work all night.

Leeeeeaaaaavin with a uhaul trailer.

(That so doesn't work, but now you're singing the song aren't you.)

I have an announcement to make. WE have an announcement to make.

Avery and I are moving to Phoenix.



I accepted a position as a travel nurse in the Greater Phoenix area, I report for duty January 3rd. I have a 3 month contract with the option of extending if I choose.

I'm not sure if this means we are staying in Phoenix, if we will return to the Midwest, or if we move on to another location. I'm oddly ok with not knowing what's going to happen and at peace with my decision.

I wanted to go to Arizona in the spring for similar reasons and for completely different reasons. I was running away from my problems and differences and running toward what I thought would be the good life. Not going in the spring has allowed relationships to be repaired and for me to learn to appreciate the little things. Things, truly do, happen for a reason.

So, in the time between now and when I pull out of my driveway to make possibly the longest cross country road trip of my life, I have eleven million things to do. Calls to make, contracts to sign, paper work to fill out, boxes to pack, and a house that is STILL on the market.

Bear with me as I spend roughly the next 10 weeks jacked up on caffeine, pulling my hair out, and living amongst the crazy that ensues when you make a move to the other side of the continent.

Yesterday I met Avery's dad, lets call him Ben, and we discussed how things would go.

It was a productive day. A great day even. I'm cautiously optimistic about the future. I know things can't change over night but we've made small steps in the right direction. We talked and learned things about each other that we never knew in the short time we were together.

It was a draining day. Physically, I had been up since 1pm on Sunday, as well as emotionally.

So what do I do from here? How will this work? I have never had to worry about Ben and his relationship with Avery. I have never had to worry about MY relationship with BEN. Like it or not, we ARE bonded for life. I do know that I want her to know him. Every little girl needs a dad in their life. He will be involved, as much as I allow. But how much do I allow? How will this dynamic work?

So many questions that I need to answer.

But, still, a great day.

A damp afternoon

A storm rolled through yesterday afternoon/evening. As soon as Avery saw the first rain drops she squealed and said "ot-side mommy"? How could I say no? We watched the rain fall from the porch.





We got rain drops in our hair.



We got our pants wet and made wet foot prints on the porch.

She's so big!

Avery and I went to the park this morning. She LOVED it, as usual. I couldn't help but get a little choked up when I was helping her down the slide and she let go of my hand and said "Mommy I do it". She climbed up, went down, and ran around and climbed back up again and again and again. She loved that she was a big girl and could do it by herself. I wish I would have taken my camera. Maybe we will go back this afternoon after her nap.

She thought it was hilarious to stomp around in the leaves and listen to them crunch. I remember last fall visiting that same park and she was TERRIFIED of the sound the leaves made when we walked on them.

Added perk of spending an hour at the park before nap time: she fell right to sleep after lunch without any complaints and without getting out of bed!