I've reached my limit

The toddler is sick and OH.EM.GEE the whining! But surprisingly, or not if you've met my kid, she seems to have MORE energy today then she does on healthy days.

My day started off clocking out at work and rushing to pick up Avery to make it to an 0845 doctors appointment, we were late. She told me yesterday her "peepee" hurt and her once dry cough sounded pretty wet.

We get to the doctor at 0850 and leave at 1045 with a double ear infection, an upper respiratory infection, and what the doctor said was "the start of a UTI". Can we also mention that her throat is red, but we skipped culturing it for strep because the antibiotic she was going to give her for everything else would wipe out strep also if she had it.

I was a bit dumbfounded, especially since she never acted like anything else was bothering her.

"Avery does your head hurt?" "Nope"

"Does your mouth hurt?" "Noooooooo"

"Does your throat hurt?" (Touches throat) "No mommy, no hurt"

"Does your peepee hurt?" "YESSSSSS"

"Do your ears hurt?" "Ummmm nope"

And? She hasn't had a fever at all.

I bribed Avery into peeing in the cup for the urinalysis by telling her we could go get a salad at the apple (Applebees) if she peed in the cup. She said "Ummm ok" ::grunt:: and a little trickle dropped in. Hey, if it works right?

We stopped at home before we went to lunch because it was a bit early and I did everything in my power to keep busy so my eyes would stay open. Empty and refill the dishwasher.....CHECK! Throw the dirty laundry downstairs....CHECK! Pick up toddler toys and put pillows back on the couch.......CHECK! Then sweet tiny baby Jesus did that couch look comfy. So I sat on it. And then I leaned back into it....aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh. 8 seconds later I was starting a decent head bob. Of course that didn't last long because the little human with the bacterial infestation started throwing puzzle pieces at me. I was this.close to just making her a PB&J and putting her down for a nap and actually said I was going to go make her some lunch. But, she said "Mom? Big girl eat at the apple?"

Damn. Outfoxed by the small one.

We loaded into the car. (Can I just say I was STILL in my scrubs at this point and I'm fairly certain with the way I looked I shouldn't have been allowed out in public.) And when we got to the apple she was PUMPED! Only she has a really hard time with WAITING FOR THEM TO PREPARE THE FOOD.

No you can't eat pepper.

No put the sugar packets down. Oh, I guess go ahead you already licked them.

Get the crayon out of your mouth please.

Big girls don't hit.

Sure you can eat my lemon.

Sorry this is mommy's drink, she doesn't like backwash.

We FINALLY get home and I FINALLY get her in bed. Only she doesn't stay in bed because lately little miss has been all about testing every.single.one of her limits. She got out of bed 19 time yesterday? Better make it 20 today. After about 3 times I went in there with what I'm sure can only be described as a look of pure crazy and not so quietly told her if she got out of bed again there would be some spankings handed out. She stayed in bed.

And then the heavens parted and angels were singing. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I'm 97% positive I giggled when I got into my bed. A nap! A glorious nap!

I sent a text message and looked at the time 1505 (3:05 for those of you not down with the lingo) and that is the last thing I remember.

Until the whining woke me up. (Did I tell y'all I went ahead and baby gated her bedroom door? It's working better.) Which means she got up, went to the gate, threw her blankie over and now can't get it back. It's like I'm back in the crib days. Yay! ::eyeroll:: I grab the kid and take her to my bed. Surely some Nick Jr will keep her occupied while I grab a few more winks. I check the time: 1532. FIFTEEN THIRTY TWO! I slept for TWENTY SEVEN EM EFFING MINUTES! Thank you Jesus that something is on that she will watch and I cover up and attempt to add a couple more minutes.

"Mom, I want apple juice." "Hold on Avery."

"Mom I see your nose." "Yep"

"Mommy's hair is pretty." "Lies."

"Mommy sad?" "grumble"

Then I feel my eyelashes being ripped from their roots and my eyelid being peeled back from my eyeball.

"Oh, hi mommy" "AVERY WATCH DORA"

I was so exhausted/frustrated that I jumped in a hot shower and cried. And cried. And cried. I've had a lot building up it seems. Then Avery peeked in the shower so I made it a bit cooler, stripped her down, and she climbed in. At least bath time was done right? Got out of the shower, grabbed a diet coke, and already felt in a better mood.

I only ever got those 27 minutes. And I've been awake since 0830 Thursday morning. What do *I* do on a Friday night? Go to bed at 2130, that's what.

'Cuz I know how to party.

(If none of this makes sense. Screw it. I'm sleepy. And my bed > everything.)