I'm gonna do it......

make grad school my bish.

Fingers and toes crossed for an acceptance letter for Spring of '12!

And while we're on the topic, could someone convince the government they should pay for it? Mkaythanksbye.

something isn't right

And I don't know what. But something keeps telling me that something is wrong. I feel like I'm waiting on the other shoe to drop.

But I don't know what it is.

sunset

::crosses 'photograph a sunset' off bucket list::

When is enough, enough?

My life has been stuck in a cyclic pattern for over 3 years.

Being nice.

Having doubts.

Fighting.

Building strength.

Moving on.

Being happy with life and not having any doubts.

Late night phone calls from unknown numbers.

And then it all starts again.


I'm breaking the cycle. I'm done. Saturday I changed me phone number and email address.

That unbelievable guilt is back that I feel every time the calls start again. But I'll deal with it again and know that I am making the right decision for my daughter. And I'll also know there won't be a next time. Because now I just live on an island in the Pacific. There is no number to call to make me upset. There is no email address to flood with messages.

If you need my contact information, please email me through the blog and I'll get back to you. (In the process of switching everything I lost all my phone contacts. If I had your number before, could you please message it to me again? Thanks.)

My hairs got in a fight

With a bottle of color. My blonde roots were showing....oh noes.

You like?

I'm sure as of now many people have heard of the tragedy at the Indiana State Fair yesterday.

My heart goes out to those in my beloved home state that are hurting right now.



My roommate and I sitting in that very place 3 years ago watching the very same performers.

I'm not sure what I can do but sit here and pray. So, that's what I'll do. Sending my love and prayers from all the way over here.

Oh, pintrest, you dirty little minx.

I'm hooked. I LOVE browsing for new ideas. And my family LOVES the new recipes I've tried.

And oh, all the ideas I find. If only I had the means to do them all....::le sigh::

I had a birthday.

It was last week. It was great. Dinner with the family, an embarrassing display and a video to send my mom. Ate empty calories all day so my sugar plummeted right before dinner...yay. Anywho....

Someone wished me a happy born day. Which made me feel....::shiver::. Because I don't want to think about me being born, and my mom's...........................................................................................................................................................::shiver::

That one about my butt

Before you get all "where ya been gurl!" I have a story for you. About my butt. Yep, I've been gone for weeks and return to tell you about my butt. Did you really expect anything less?

I have a genetic condition I was born with (thanks mom). Called a pilonidal cyst. Don't google it. Trust me. Basically, it's a cyst (usually empty) near your tailbone (aka: top o' muh crack). Except I'm super special and lucky and mine is really deep, actually near my tailbone. Because of this I have a sinus tract, an opening to the surface of my skin. It's tiny tiny, not noticeable, at the top of my crack. But what happens when you have an extra hole, on your butt, leading to a cavern? You guessed it, sometimes it gets infected. Which is super effing gross, but what can you do right?

So, my ass got infected...again. This is the third time since 2003. I've been told that's actually a great track record. You know, cuz I bathe and I'm a girl without all the hair and gross things on a boy butt. I waited and waited to see if just soaking it and heat would take care of it. Last Friday night, at work, it got bigger and more painful (sitting is awesome when my ass is pissed off) and I was running a low grade temp. Aces.

I got off work Saturday morning and went to the ER. The doctor asked me to wait a few days to see if it would get closer to the surface of my skin. I told him to just give me the damn scalpel and let me do it myself. After some convincing, a doctor cut my butt. Instant relief! Except then they pack it with gauze, which hurts like an em effer. And now I'm on antibiotics and narcotics.....weeeee! But sitting doesn't hurt anymore.

Moral of the story: I need surgery, on my butt. To remove the cyst so it stops collecting fluid.

::ahem:: Enjoy your dinner! :D