7.7.10

Today, 7.7.10, was supposed to be my 3rd wedding anniversary.

Supposed to be, but isn't.

A long relationship followed by a short marriage. I could look back on the time with anger. Lies, betrayal, tears, more tears, feelings of incompetence, etc, etc. I did look at it that way for a long time. I cried on my 1st wedding anniversary. I didn't get out of bed the entire day, called in sick to work.

But now I see things a little different. I think of it as one of the best days of my life. (THE best day was a rainy day in December of 2008...) Now I realize that I had to go through that to get here. I had to marry the person I thought was my best friend only to have it crumble 4 short months later. I had to experience that heart ache and pain. That dark time after my divorce, I had to go through all that too.

But look what was on the other side! A beautiful, funny, smart daughter. Strength I never knew I had. A new found independence. I've become....myself. I've learned to love deeper, care more, and appreciate the small things. At the same time I've learned to be cautious with who I trust, rely on myself more than another person, and to hold tight to my beliefs.

I'm not angry anymore. It's not a sensitive subject. I sincerely wish him the best. I truly hope he has learned from the experience and grown. It took me over two and a half years to get here, but it takes time.

July 7 isn't a day for me to dread anymore. When I look back I now, I know that day really was the first day of the rest of my life. And what a life it is!