Outside Looking In

I'm angry. Wait, maybe not angry. No, no I'm angry.

I don't understand why Avery's dad thinks it's ok to treat her, to treat us, the way he does. He thinks he can just come and go as he pleases like being a parent is a part time job or something you do when you feel like it.

I cut off communication with him, then I let him be involved as much as he wanted to be (not much), now I'm just confused. I've been ignoring his phone calls for 3 weeks. I feel like nothing I say is going to make him change and I'm just tired of fighting. Avery has no idea who he his. How could she? She's met him a grand total of 3 times in her entire life. He will call and text all day for a couple weeks then it tapers off to were I don't hear from him for a month or two then he starts the process over again. And again, and again, and again. How long am I supposed to deal with this? Avery is getting to the age that she is going to start getting what is going on. How long will she have to deal with it?

He lies to me constantly. About everything. Small things and very, very big things. Many things are still a mystery to me. How can I trust a person like that to be in Avery's life?

It breaks my heart that Avery doesn't have a dad in her life. I know she's happy and she isn't at a loss for love, but I just want to give her everything and that is one thing I can't give her. It angers me to no end that he chooses to not come around. Who could choose to not want to know her?

I guess this is all being brought to the surface because he called me today and I ignored it. He's since text me 3 times. "Call me please", "call me", and "call me please". I just don't have the strength to deal with him. Maybe that's not the right answer. I wish I knew what the answer was, if anyone has any ideas please enlighten me.