Friday, February 11, 2011

When to keep quiet.

I'm horrible at keeping my mouth closed. At NOT saying things that shouldn't be said. But I'm the absolute worst at not responding when I shouldn't.

I'm working on it.

Avery's dad emailed me last week that he didn't have a phone so he would like to contact me via email to check on Avery. I didn't respond.

A number I didn't recognize has been calling me frequently lately, more so the last few days, and not leaving a message. I routinely don't answer the phone if I don't know the number. Today they left a message.

Her dad.

Another new number. More lies? I have no doubt.

It's times like this I have the hardest time keeping my mouth closed. Being silent.

I said my peace after Christmas and he didn't care enough at the time to even respond more than a "thanks". I AM NOT rehashing old lies with him. I also AM NOT giving in and giving him another chance. He doesn't deserve it. He doesn't deserve the chances he's already ruined.

So I'll just keep biting my tongue and being completely mute until he gives up and goes away again.

3 comments:

andygirl said...

sometimes that's the best thing you can do. sometimes saying something escalates things and doesn't help anyone. you're a good person and a good mom. remember that.

Eileen said...

I'm sorry you are going through this. *hugs* for both of you.
It reminds me of my husband telling me that you can never win an argument over the internet--in your case you can't win with this man who is willing to lie, be devious and deceptive and tell you what you want to hear to get what he wants. It isn't worth your attempting to get your 'say' out b/c it won't help. Vent here...we're glad to listen/read and be supportive.

Angie said...

I have been a "lurker" on your blog for months. I admire you for your strength during these trying times. I went through a similar situation with my oldest 2 children, when they were much younger...and my ignorant (and abusive) ex who was pretty damn sure the world revolved around him. Drugs were #1 in his life, and extra-marital affairs were a close 2nd. I worked 2 jobs, he got fired from his for failing a drug test. I kept giving him chance after chance after chance. One day, he left us in a apartment with no car, no money, no electricity and we were behind on our rent (he had been using the money I gave him to pay bills to buy drugs). He claimed to be going to get a job, but I knew better. I got the courage to leave and he eventually returned. I filed for divorce and paid for the entire amount. He fought for visitation and then rarely took advantage of it. One day, he disappeared...no warning, just left the state. No support for months, no calls to the children...NADA. I eventually remarried and my current husband adopted my oldest 2 children and we couldn't be happier. My ex was worthless...I wouldn't even consider labeling him a sperm donor, he doesn't even deserve that much recognition.
Stay strong...stand your ground...you and that beautiful daughter of yours are THE MOST IMPORTANT THING!!!