Saturday, January 1, 2011

Happy New Year!

2011. Woah.

The year I'll have 2 new nieces. A return visit to Hawaii to see my sister and new niece. And lots of changes on the horizon.

I decided that before this new year began I was going to get rid of people in my life that weren't good. Toxic viruses whose only goal is to make my life chaotic and stressful. And that is exactly what I did.

I asked "Ben" to stop contacting us.

I know, I know. What in the hell is this crazy lady doing? We went from him back in the picture, to talks of a reconciliation, to arguing, to asking him to eff off in just a matter of months. But, those months? Those were the most drama filled, stressful months I've experienced in awhile.

After the charade was up and his true colors started to show his calls became even less frequent to Avery. She got to the point that she didn't ask to speak to him for a number of days.

And then he didn't call her on Christmas.

OH HELL NO. Because you didn't have CELL PHONE RECEPTION?!?! IN CHICAGO?!?!?! Give me an effing break.

I emailed him and explained my reasoning for wanting him to leave us alone and asked that he not call or text us anymore. Avery now knows his real name (even though he gave me the wrong spelling) and she can look him up when she's older if she so wishes. His reply? "Thanks". I'm not kidding you, that's it. And we haven't heard a peep from him since.

It feels like a weight has been lifted. I don't feel like I'm constantly ready to pounce to defend myself or my daughter. I'm not told everyday what a horrible person I am, how big of a failure as a parent I am. It's been........a relief. I can BREATHE again. That gut feeling the he was bad news? It's gone too.

I think 2011 might just be the best year yet!


Sara B said...

Happy New Year! Sorry about "Ben" but I think you are right to cut your losses and move on completely. Hope this year brings you happiness!

Mom/Grandma said...

You will paint a picture of him for Avery that he really does not deserve. She will make decisions about him over time and she will know the truth about him IF she decides to contact him when she is older. You are a good Mom, just keep doing what you are doing and you both will continue to be great!!!!

paulakiger said...

Here's hoping 2011 brings you peace of mind - sounds like you have had some tough decisions to make.

Happy New Year.

andygirl said...

good for you! sometimes you just have to cut that toxicity out. I've done that and I can't express the happiness it's brought. your daughter will be better for it.

much love to you

Butterbean said...

Here's to 2011 being an awesome year for you and Avery! And much less stressful!!

xoxo, m'dear!

Eileen said...

I don't know if I told you this Jen, but my mom got re-married when I was 3 and I didn't meet my biological father until I was 16. Her dislike of him didn't color my view of him. It just made that he was an irresponsible ass that more clear to me. He didn't know my birthday. He isn't worth communicating with. I am just glad that I was able to get in touch with his sister, who is actually a great person.
I'm so glad you were able to make that decision and I hope he respects it (although it looks like he hasn't since he emailed you).
Happy New Year--may it be awesome and filled with much joy, and less drama