Friday, January 21, 2011

Online dating, racism, and exposing my underthings

I ventured back into the world of online dating. I know…lame, right?

But here’s the thing. It gets kind of boring around here after 8pm. There are only SO many loads of laundry to do or shows to watch. And since the kid is asleep and it’s FREAKING FREEZING outside I’m confined to the house.

I joined a free site, because I’m not paying for that shit, it doesn’t even work! I spent a large majority of the time pointing and laughing and most of the people on my screen. Some of the messages I received I couldn’t even read due to extremely poor grammar (worse than mine!) and I’m convinced half of them weren’t even English. The funniest? Those that left their number so we could meet and “hook up”. Is that what people do nowadays? Icky.

I have a picture on the site of myself (duh) with my obviously biracial kid. I thought I might get a few comments about it and OH BOY did I ever!

One strapping young fellow (::eyeroll::) messaged me. At first I was impressed because it was longer than a few words and it seemed there were OMG PARAGRAPHS! But then I started reading.

I have to paraphrase because it has since been deleted, but it went along the lines of I should be ashamed of myself for breeding outside of my species and no self respecting white man will ever touch me because I am tainted. My child shouldn’t exist. Why do dumb bitches think it’s ok to breed with animals?

I wasn’t going to respond. But, let’s be honest, most of you know me by now and know that I CANNOT keep my mouth shut sometimes. I said your parents must be so proud to know that they raised such an ignorant racist. My daughter’s father is of a different RACE not a different species….Einstein. He bleeds red just like you. There is nothing wrong with me or my vagina. I had a child with a man, that yes has many MANY faults, but is a lot more open minded than you appear to be. My daughter SHOULD exist and it is unfortunate that we live in a world where people like you are going to try to make her feel inferior for something that makes her UNIQUE and BEAUTIFUL.

He emailed back spouting more ignorant shit but I didn’t read it.

What a piece of work right?

I’m not gonna lie I was fuming about it for a little bit. But, people like that DO exist and they WILL always try to say something to get to me. But, there are others that make me feel uncomfortable too.

Those that just stare.

I was on a date last weekend. (Eeeeek! And no, I’m not sharing…yet.) And a woman at the next table kept peeking at us. It wouldn’t have been so noticeable if her back wasn’t to us so she had to TURN AROUND every time. At first I thought, I know I look cute and he’s a total babe….stare away. And stare she did. And KEPT STARING! How awkward. What bothers me the most about these people is that I’m a fairly open person and I’m not easily offended. WHY are you staring? Do you have a question? A comment? Just say it! You’ll feel better getting it off your chest and I’ll feel better knowing it’s not because I have a booger hanging out of my nose or my dress tucked in my underwear.

Someone would TELL me if I had my dress tucked in my underwear right? RIGHT?!?!


anitak said...

I would totally tell you if you had your dress tucked into your undies! People are stupid, you should know that by now! Love you
BTW, I met my husband through online dating (scary, I know!) so it can't be all bad!

Mom/Grandma said...

Anita would tell if you had your dess tucked in your undies. However did you notice that she never said anything about your boogers hanging from your nose. She would point and laugh until her drink came out of her nose. Anita you know you would!!!!! lol

Amanda said...

I can't believe there are people (assholes) out in this world who would act like that. Ave is such a blessing and such a BEAUTIFUL child of God. You have been given the perfect gift and no one else should have the right to judge just because of her color.
I pray you find the perfect man. You deserve nothing but happiness!

Jackie T said...

So, I don't know you, but I'm from the Crazy Awesome Sauce lady's site. I'm afraid this will come off as racist in the opposite way, but I'm pretty good at making an ass of myself, so here goes nothing...

I was talking to a boy I fancy and we were both talking about how we think biracial people, having gone through so much (because of assholes and gawkers) kind of turn into these super-human amazing people because of what they go through, and then on top of that, I'm pretty sure our genes were supposed to mix because G.D. Biracial kids are soooo freakin' gorgeous (yes I know some biracial "kids" are waaaayy older than me... and some dead, but whatever. The dead ones aren't as cute anymore...)

Also, my oldest sister is biracial (I'm a cracker), and I spent my whole life *wanting* to be her, like, seriously wishing I was half black. Sigh... too bad you can't change that after you're born.

Just know that while some assholes will always be out there, other people do in fact look up to you and your family for dealing with their B.S. and caring more about who you love (or used to love) than the color of their skin.

Eileen said...

I'd tell you if you had your dress in your undies! I'm promise.
Online dating is one of those hit and miss sorta deals. It is how I met my husband, but I'm still convinced that was some weird twist of luck, since it wasn't really intentional. I have mannnny friends that have met their husbands/wives online, but sadly there are a LOT of crazies online.

andygirl said...

dude, I HATED online dating. I'll tell you my horror stories sometime. it's just a bigger pool of ignorant, idiotic assholes.