Monday, January 3, 2011

I assume it's like herpes

Guys? I'm about to bore you with ANOTHER post about the donor of the sperm. You know, the one that helped me MAKE my kid. Yeah....sorry. :(

I got an email from him today. "I trust you had a fantastic New Year......(removed because it's boring and blah blah blah)......Can you have Avery call me? You NO I love her" (I capitalized the NO because, really? He has a journalism degree? My finesse with the English language is seriously lacking, but I don't have a degree that is dependent on my skills in written word.)

whiskey.tango.foxtrot?!?!?!?!?!eleven!1!!!1!!!!

Maybe he's a drug abuser. That seems logical right? Maybe there isn't enough oxygen in the world to supply that big head of his and he is actually a bit handicapped. (Handicapable? Are we really being PC here?)

Maybe it will always be like a case of herpes. He's always gonna be just festering below the surface. And once every few months or years he will get a wild hair up his ass to call or email me. I wish there was a cream or pill to use to keep him at bay.

He's all unsuspecting and sweet on the surface, you don't even have a clue. Then BAM infected for life.

I just laughed and closed the email.


(I have no real transition here people, just keep up. This is how my brain works.)

We've had a pajama day today. Avery is sitting in her Dora house as I type this reading a Dora book. And I would totally join the party, except I'm not allowed. It's Avery's house.



(She's that shadow in the tunnel. She was crawling back and forth and back and forth. Go ahead, get gooooood and tired kid.)

When I asked if I could come in she said "No mommy! Out!"



But before that we had a diva party. Avery style.



(Yes, she always wears her sunglasses upside down. It's her norm.)

Pardon me, the princess just came out of her house and requested chilled milk.

My mistake she really wanted filtered water.

4 comments:

Eileen said...

I find it hilarious that she won't let you in her Dora house. She is having fun exerting her independence. She is soooo adorable, and hilarious.

Do you have proof of the sperm donor's degree? I would like to see a picture to prove that isn't just another lie that he told you. It sounds like he will be herpes man, and legally I'm not sure what you can do. Does he treat all his kids like this? Does he even live close enough to visit on a regular basis if he were so inclined to do so? Best thing he can do is get a vasectomy...

Mom/Grandma said...

I say change your phone number and email asap, and your address when you can!!! That is the only way you are going to get rid of him.

Jen said...

Oh Eileen, I seriously doubt he has a degree at all. Especially since when I met him he was in law school. WTF?

I'm not even 100% positive of his name. People forge documents all the time.

andygirl said...

maybe there's a herpes-type med for sperm donors. to keep the breakouts from occuring? and I just googled herpes meds and so now google thinks I have herpes. awesome.

the "no" really got me. rolling on the floor. I used to work at a university and you'd be shocked at the idiotic things alumni put in writing. you'd think these people got a good education, but apparently they slept through class.