Thursday, September 30, 2010

"Your problem is that you're too independent. You don't NEED a man, you WANT one."

This is what I was told recently.

I nodded. Yep, you're right. That is EXACTLY my problem. I have my shit together. I own a house. I raise a child on my own. I don't HAVE to rely on someone else to get by. Sure, it would be nice to have someone to cut the grass and take out the trash, but I can do those things. I don't need someone to get by because I AM getting by. Everyday. We're surviving and we're doing alright. I don't NEED someone I WANT someone. To rub my feet, take turns cooking dinner, argue over which show we're watching, etc.

But, if I don't...meh. I know I can do it. I went through nine months of pregnancy without a foot rub, I can last a little longer. I think this just means that when I do find someone willing to deal with my independence, it will be that much better.

And for this, he had no response. :)


leaving~the~girl~behind said...


I can so relate to this post! This has been THE issue of my adult life... having always been an independent girl who can and will get for myself anything that I want or need. Like you, I am capable of thinking for myself and of completing most necessary tasks. I'm about to become a single mom too, and I have to be honest - I'm not that terrified.

The hardest part has been helping other people (friends, family, and most of all... the guys I date and really like) to understand that I am not alone because I can't attract someone else or even because I want to be alone. I am alone because I don't really NEED to be with someone and I refuse to stop living to fit into someone else's life or to boost their ego. In addition, I would never expect someone else to stop living their life and dreams to fit into mine.

I wanted you to know there is at least one other girl out there that believes that the guy she will end up with will not be someone who needs to be needed or requires to be babyied, but rather just a guy who likes being around and rubbing feet from time to time. It certainly helped me to hear you express it :) Thanks!


Mom/Grandma said...

You are very independent. I must say I am proud of that. You are teaching Avery amazing lessons, by example. She is a very lucky little princess, to have a mommy that can take care of herself and any man that is with you will be lucky as well.
You are going to find your soul mate, not a just man to take care of you. He is out there it just isn't time for him to enter you life just yet.