Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Cleaning the shower

I have a method to cleaning my house. And it MUST NOT BE BROKEN. (I'm not OCD I swear....tick.)

Kitchen. Hall. Living room. Bedrooms. All the while I throw every piece of linen down the laundry chute (basement stairs....KLASSY). Lastly, bathroom. I clean the entire bathroom then spray down the shower, strip down and climb in. (Actually I strip down at the top of the basement stairs and throw my clothes down, don't tell the neighbors.) I scrub down the shower then clean myself. And when I get out of the shower AAAAHHHHH everything is clean. TRA-LA-LA.

You do it too, don't lie. Or now you are realizing how genius that is and are considering doing it too.

But y'all I read something recently that rocked.my.world. And changed my OCD habits, at least temporarily.

I was reading a story on the internet (I think it might have been FML.com, STFU.) about this dude that does the same thing (HA! TOLD YOU!) and somehow he bent over to scrub the floor of the shower and got his butt hole caught on that thing you pull up to turn the shower on.

He.ripped.his.butt.hole. He had to go to the hospital and have stitches!

You're mortified and puckering your cheeks aren't you? How does a dooce even happen when you have stitches holding you sphincter together? I had so many similar, logical questions about this story. I contemplated contacting the website to get this gentleman's information to ask him myself.

But then I had to questioned his anal tone. I'm not going to get all personal on you, but I highly doubt the probability of most people, first of all, GETTING something up there and second, it happening all loosey goosey on an accident (pun intended) and WHOOPS it just slipped in.

None the less today while I was cleaning my house I cleaned the shower completely clothed from the outside of the shower.

It was weird.

But I didn't need stitches.

1 comment:

Butterbean said...

I have all of these questions, and no answers. Dammit. Also? This makes my ass hurt